Humor

Love CO2 If you like this crazy gag enough to want to copy it then please credit me by using this link: http://www.science20.com/chatter_box

Clogged arteries everywhere are taking sides in the sure-to-be epic battle for your cholesterol-induced death. The Phoenix Sun Times opens the article with the following paragraph: "A battle of the bulge has broken out between two restaurants that feature sexy 'nurses' as waitresses, heart-attack-themed ambiance and towering burgers that would make a vegan vomit." Mmm, a heart-attack themed ambiance? Sign me up! Several years ago, a guy opened up a restaurant called the "Heart Attack Grill" in Arizona. The HAG's site is jaw-dropping - they have burgers from single through quadruple bypass,…

Random Noise #20 : Aude Alteram Partem Aude Alteram Partem - hear the other side - is a principle of administrative and natural law which states that a fair hearing requires that both sides of a legal contest or argument be given an equal opportunity to be heard.  It has well been said that it is a rule of universal application. I apprehend that a tribunal which is by law invested with power to affect the property of one of Her Majesty's subjects, is bound to give such subject an opportunity of being heard before it proceeds: and that that rule is of universal application, and founded…

Random Noise #18 : We Was Robbed Well, of course, that should be 'we were robbed', according to the rules of conventional grammar.  But the phrase 'we was robbed', often written as 'we wuz robbed' has become part of the lexicon of humor in the English language. There are many kinds of robbery.  I suppose that George III might have said 'we wuz robbed' in reference to the Treaty of Paris 1783.  It must have been hard on the poor guy to lose so many colonies over so little tax1. Robbery and stealing are pretty similar in meaning, but many expressions in English just wouldn't work…

WARNING!  Very bad joke alert.  Please engage brain before reading further. Scoop!  Newsflash!  No Science At IPCC! Following hot on the heels of recent news about emails, glaciers and rainforests comes a new discovery that will warm the hearts of climate change deniers everywhere.  It is indisputable fact that the IPCC does not conduct any research nor does it monitor climate related data or parameters. This long-hidden truth can now be revealed thanks to your author's diligent research.  The fact that the IPCC does no climate research or monitoring has long…

The Humor Of Mark Twain Mark Twain would have made a world-class blogger.  He could write most wittily on just about any topic.  Here is a selection of Mark Twain quotes on the topic of lies and truth. I have been working like sin all night to get a lecture written. I have finished it, I call it "Frozen Truth." It is a little top-heavy, though, because there is more truth in the title than there is in the lecture.  From a letter, Jan. 8, 1868..."In one respect the sick-nurse is perfection--when she is on watch, she never snores."...Lying is universal we all do it; we all must…

Ever feel like you're just one of the sheep, phoning it in every day in your office cubicle? Well, Jean-Luc Cornec is the guy for you. Cornec constructed a herd of sheep out of rotary telephones and their cords, which was on display at the Museum of Telecommunication in Frankfurt. The repurposed phones are oddly perfect in their new form - if you saw the "sheep" quickly out of the corner of your eye, you'd think they were real! Don't be sheepish, it could happen to anyone. Ok, I'll dial back on the jokes. I just wanted to give this artist a ringing endorsement. Hopefully it impressed ewe as…

Well, he did it again.   The first thing you will be asking me is how Bloggy is off on another adventure with yet another blonde while I am stuck writing about it on the Internet.  It is a mystery of science. Yet the little Lothario is off indeed, this time at ScienceOnline 2010 with our favorite Science Cheerleader, Darlene Cavalier.    If you aren't familiar with Science Online, it is organized by Scienceblogs.com columnist Bora Zivkovic and  addresses a variety of issues and perspectives on science communication, including science literacy, the popularization of…

 Exciting news just in from Oxford University. A previously obscure lecturer in cinematography has published a book titled The Selfish Dot, in which the author challenges the established view that films are the most important feature in the history of filmmaking.  He says the most important element is not the camera or the subject or the film or the images, but the dots that make up the images! His reason for this revolutionary view of film production is simple yet profound and undeniable – images on the film come and go, but the dots remain! The film, the author explains, is merely…

Lately I have been having pains in my shoulder due to leaning to the left while sitting in my computer chair. This has put a strain on the muscles in my shoulder, neck and arm on my left side. I was thinking one night while laying in my bed, how wonderful it would be if my small house cat could give me a massage on my shoulder that was hurting.While that may sound theoretically impossible, I thought what a great idea it would be to train my cat to give me a massage. While my house cat weighs no more than two pounds, it wouldn't be an issue weight-wise when it comes to her giving a massage.…