Humor

When I was a young guy in the Army, if an M-16 stayed missing the President had to know about it within 4 hours(1) and that was just a gun ... imagine how much Pres. Obama wants to know whose ass to kick over 4 missing underwater robots in the Navy. Wait ... 4???   Yes, not 1, but 4.   They were apparently on a training exercise looking for underwater mines - in the Chesapeake Bay - when contact was lost.  It was part of a routine annual training exercise among US and Canadian military and civilian forces.We can't blame Canada for this one(2), though, and try as he might Pres.…

It takes me a long time to write an article, and I’ve started working on one.  Too much in one day, though, and I find that Cerebrum meum est fatiga-tum.So for the meantime I will show you these exam answers that were emailed me by a friend. That’s not using an example.  Zero marks! Children are so very mature these days! (Note to readers in the USA: Raleigh is (or was) a famous brand of bicycle in the UK)

Perfidious Albion Caution:  unmitigated whimsy alert! ________________________________ Perfidious Albionor what our literary heritage might have been if we had learned earlier in our history to sue each other.            ______________________________________ All rights hereinunder are hereby acknowledged by the author, printer and publisher , all relevant statutory fees are hereby certified to have been paid, all necessary permissions and waivers have been sworn in the Royal Courts of Libel.          …

Unfitted Up ? This article starts off with some serious points about science and law. It will become apparent soon enough why I have posted this under 'humor'. Please bear with me. Unfitted up? Being 'fitted up' means being 'framed' - being on the receiving end of criminal charges founded on false evidence. It occurs to me that if a person is acquitted through the framing of a defence based on false evidence, or the bad 'framing' by the judge of good evidence then the expression 'unfitted up' might be apt. Means, motive, opportunity + ? actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea The act is not…

Murphy's Proviso To The 2nd Law of Thermodynamics Notwithstanding anything stated to the contrary in the 2nd law; The amount of energy needed to put right any accidental application of energy will always be significantly greater than the amount of energy used accidentally. This simple truth popped into my mind today as I was writing an article. It took a single inattentive click to accidentally delete almost all of the article and about three exhausting hours to remember what the heck I was waffling on about and to re-write the whole *$%* thing. Murphy's Proviso demonstrates that the nearest…

Paedocypris progenetica Fish. Fishy."I once caught a paedocypris progenetica this big!"  with infinite recursion. Tip of the hat to uncyclopedia.

Schrodinger’s cat survived the experiment but his new abilities were entirely unexpected. I just had to share this. see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Before he was House on the TV series named ... "House" ... Hugh Laurie was a comedian; you know, one of those smug types UK people love, except he was actually funny.    In this clip, he and fellow comedian Stephen Fry (fun fact - they were introduced by Emma Thompson of Howard's End", "Sense and Sensibility" and one of my wife's favorite Christmas movies, "Love Actually", while at Cambridge in 1980) take a poke at mathematicians, but it could easily apply to any scientist:

This weekend, someone once again wanted my assurance that Project Calliope would not cause an environmental disaster when it reenters at the end of its mission. Earlier I'd discussed how it will completely burn up on reentry, leaving nothing that could hit the ground.  However, given people need additional reassurance, I offer this statement. I guarantee that Project Calliope will not cause a zombie outbreak. You might think, 'doesn't every satellite promise that-- yet how can he guarantee, with 100% certainty, that his satellite won't infect the Earth with an alien virus that causes…

The End of the World seems to roll around every decade or so.   The last time it got a lot of press was the year 2000 A.D., a millennial event in the Gregorian calendar.   COBOL programmers were the convenient catalyst for all that, since banks would shut down due to legacy software, but the end of the world needs vassals, the more unwitting the better, so it made sense that COBOL folks would take the fall. Next up is 2012, this time due to one Meso-American calendar, and some speculation has been that the LHC will cause it, unleashing an army of Strangelets led by ancient Mayan…