Humor

Supersymmetry proponents, who have been inconsolable since the MERCURY and DVDMS experiments of the Large Halidone Collider (LHC) began eliminating most of the places where shadow particles of real physics could be hidden in 2012, rejoiced today when the LHC announced a new particle had been discovered after sorting through eleventy gazillion inverse femtobarns of signals. “We are declaring the existence of a new particle at the level of 1 sigma, in the mass region around 1.21 Gigawatts," said MERCURY experiment spokesperson Dr. Emmett Brown. "The results are preliminary but because of the…

Two years ago we were helping my mother-in-law get settled into her new place and, with the manual labor done and my usefulness diminished, she and her daughters talked details and I sat in a chair. A Hallmark movie was on. I had never seen it before but I was convinced I had. After about 10 minutes, when a seemingly avoidable misunderstanding occurred onscreen, I began taking notes on my phone and talking about the action. My family asked what I was doing and I declared that this was brilliant storytelling. This formula could work with anything, it was that rock solid. I was reminded of that…

There are people who consider themselves atheists because they cannot justify or understand the existence of God and they have doubts based on science. However, I will explain to you why I believe in God and there are for me no conflicts with scientific discoveries. Atheists believe that life comes from nothingness, from emptiness, so they think there is nothing beyond their understanding. However, science is telling us that there really is no absolute vacuum as it has been revealed thanks to the technological advances of the 21st century. If you do not agree with it, do not hesitate to…

There are several movies as well as certain philosophical reflections, and scientific studies that consider that we are living in a world that can be described in a computer simulation, implying that our lives are unreal. Our existence is just part of a computer simulation. This idea is not new. Many of us know “The Allegory of the Cave” or Plato’s Cave which is more of a metaphor than a myth where a group of people are prisoners in a cave and they are able to appear as a shadow at the end of the stone wall in front of them. Therefore, his concept of reality is reduced to images on…

Unlike Alex Durig, who has given us 5 Predictions for 2017, I will not attempt to make any.  Rather I will try to enjoy what remains of the 12 days of Christmas (the last one being the 5th of January, and I do not have the energy to pop over to Russia to enjoy another Christmas Day on the 6th.) So, for a couple of Festive Treats, here are two songs for readers.  The first is aimed at North Americans, the majority of whom should have the opportunity of building a snowman, though not necessarily in a meadow.  Here in Britain we are unlikely to have much of an opportunity this…

What happened after Lisa ran out puking, escaping the stupid Donald Trump follower’s office in the mathematics department? Heil Hitler Screaming Nazi: Heil Hitler! Great News Everybody! Stupid Donald Trump Follower: Hey, I told you not to do that. The walls have ears. Heil Hitler Screaming Nazi: People need to hear me so that your nonsense is accepted as the new middle. Shifting the Overton window – this is how we did it all. Stupid Donald Trump Follower: Look, he is not even inaugurated yet. Let’s be careful. You can be openly my friend or you can be open about reality, but one of them has…

Etiquette for PoliticiansSome burning questions of the day for President-elect Donald Trump. Etiquette for Politicians Should a democrat not curtsey to a monarch?Should a communist ask favours from the GOP?Should a UKIP member bow to a eurocrat, then how?And should fascists march or run, or simply stop? Should prime ministers wear breton caps or bowlers?Should a lib-dem wear waxed cotton or a mac?If a voter offers cash, should one quickly say "must dash"Or accept it and make haste to change one's track? Should opponents not be banned from public places?Is a heckler at speeches to be shot?If…

How stupid was he? He shut down the Center for Groundwater Research. I quote him: “You don’t need to grind water. It’s a liquid.” He closed our renowned Digital Signal Processing program. He was then unable to process, when faculty flashed him a certain digital signal. Next to go was the knockout mouse lab. He said, “They have some attractive mice, but none that I’d call a real knockout.” Budget cuts sure do bring out presidential stupidity. They will fire secretaries, forcing faculty (who are paid much more than secretaries) to stand in front of the photocopier. They don't know the…

Though politicians in Paris cheering a climate accord that 150 out of the 200 countries present have no intention of honoring is getting all of the attention, a more pressing concern is being ignored: a Zombie apocalypse. Tara Smith, Associate Professor at Kent State University in Ohio says in the Christmas issue of The BMJ(1) that emerging zombie infections have been identified around the globe and, though sporadic, are becoming a source of greater concern to the medical and public health community. Yet little formal study has been carried out into the the infections that may result in…

The cycling World champion is significantly less successful during the year when he wears the rainbow jersey than in the previous year, and many have said this is due to a curse. Thomas Perneger at Geneva University Hospital, Switzerland, put his intellectual petal to the metal to find out if this curse is real and details his work in the Christmas issue of The BMJ.(1) The "rainbow" jersey is worn by the current cycling World champion (it is white, with bands of blue, red, black, yellow and green across the chest) and many cyclists believe that the World champion will be afflicted with all…