Cosmic Rays Invade Planet Earth: First Strike on Toyota

Toyota's sticky accelerators could be caused by a concerted attack by evil cosmic rays. Toyota has kept quiet about these malicious forces but this puff piece may have unmasked a sinister force that could be causing untold havoc throughout the planet.

Cosmic rays are high energy protons that have been flung into space by a supernova. Upon hitting Earth they seem to focus their attention on Toyotas. But not, apparently, in random acts of sabotage but rather they seem to have a foot fixation and enjoy playing with their gas pedals.

However, researchers claim that such events happen all the time and that people are just too busy to see the patterns. If your microwaved dinner looks cremated or you receive persistent phonecalls from people you don't know, these could all be due to a single event upset (SEU) caused by these invaders from outer space. I too would be upset if I found I was getting rickrolled every time I wanted to connect with my favourite webcamstress.

Changing just one bit of digital information could flip a particularly sensitive mind, computer or vehicle. The increase in police reports that drivers speeding through red lights claim that "my car did it" now all seem to make sense. There have also been cases of drivers in urban centres reporting that their GPS systems were telling them not to drive into the sea. "I was confused as to whether to believe my eyes or my GPS, but assumed computers don't lie." said one victim who sped into a drive-thru fast food outlet believing it was a beachfront.

The government is urged to set up a cosmic ray alert program (CRAP) to collate such bizarre incidents. Senators with time on their hands have urged the government to look into the feasibility of a force field around the Earth to shield us from this alien peril. However, the NSA has issued a statement saying that,"We do not find this credible. We do not find this credible. We do not find this credible."

Have you had an electronic single event upset too?

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