Love: An Almost Scientific Investigation
What Is Love ?
If I could answer that long-standing question in precise scientific terms with error bars I would be sure to get a Nobel prize and lynched.
I do have a few insights which might help other researchers. After an exhaustive search of the literature I have discovered a few facts about love. It is a long-established assumption that love is a complex phenomenon: indeed, some researchers state that love is a many splendored thing. Love is strange, it can make people act irrationally, leading some psychologists to assert that it is a crazy little thing.
Love is the world number one cause of teen angst. Despite everything that wise men say, it seems that people can't help falling in love. When they do, it is commonly reported in the literature that words don't come easy. So much so, that there is one report of teens resorting to Morse code. The reported song uses Morse dit dit, dit dit dit which - more puzzling than STENDEC - reads in English as "IS". This may be a precursor of textspeak - more research is needed.
People in love most commonly compare the object of their affections, or love itself, to natural phenomena or human artifacts which are evocative of beauty. Love is like a red rose or perhaps a violin. Many people agree that love brings sunshine into their lives and fondly hope that their true love will not fade away.
Lovers will find any excuse to maintain contact. The telephone is so widely used by lovers that they become very upset when it doesn't ring. If separated by water they will try to swim, find a boat or even lay down a bridge.
It is commonly found that in an attempt to avert separation, lovers will jump the broomstick. This may or may not be a permanent solution: many a woman has told her man to hit the road having discovered that separation is survivable. Even if a person can't stop loving, there are many coping strategies.
In what may yet prove to be the greatest advance in biology since Darwin, I have been able to reduce the complexities of this biological phenomenon to a simple scientific formula which I modestly present here for discussion.
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