The jokes write themselves, really:

"Ozzy Osbourne's Genome Reveals Some Neandertal Lineage"

The idea itself is fascinating, though, and I am interested to see what more they can mine from the PoD (Prince of Darkness, to the uninitiated). I nominate the full contingent of Mötley Crüe as the next genetic guinea pigs, testing for why people who should by all accounts be dead are still alive and shouting at the devil.

Ozzy reaching for omega-3-rich flax crackers, the real secret to his inexplicable longevity