Today's scapegoat for my rant about the place of cephalopods in society is, as I predicted, Squidward Quincy Tentacles, of Spongebob Squarepants fame:

What IS that? Six appendages, a misplaced mouth, and a floppy nose? Where'd the nose come from? Where are his fins and tentacles? But oh, it turns out Squidward isn't even meant to be a squid. The Spongebob wiki quotes Squidward's voice actor: He's an octopus, but they call him Squidward. I never understood. I guess Octoward just never worked for a name, though.

More support for Josh's theory that naming things after squids is always better than naming them after octopuses. Is it because "squid" is shorter? Funnier? Rhymes with more things? I'm not sure, but even back when octopuses were my main squeeze, and squid came a distant second in my affections, folks found it easier to call me "squid girl."

The Spongebob wiki also informs us that Squidward's name is a portmanteau of the word "squid" and the name "Edward." That's good, I'm really glad someone cleared that up!

Well, even if he's supposed to be an octopus, he's still missing two appendages. But, we learn from the trusty wiki, It was easier for animation to draw him with six legs instead of eight. Okay then. I'll let it slide. What I will not allow to slide: Squidward the octopus is an employee of Eugene Krabs.

As you can see, Mr. Krabs is, in fact, a crab. (I have bolded the important words here, to help readers understand the situation.) You see, octopuses eat crabs. Constantly, as many as they can get, they love to eat crabs so much!

If Squidward and Mr. Krab were pals, that would be one thing. But apparently, Squidward hates Mr. Krab. So why, why, why, has he not gobbled up his boss, smothered in the Krabs' family's own secret sauce?

They could call the episode "Natural Predation Event"!