Write a critical article about how science careers, including your own, are destroyed and science is corrupted today; put it on a “science” site; get 2400 readers in three months and basically no reaction except for a so called “Institute of ETHICS and Emergent Technologies” still not wanting anything to do with you anymore since your last criticism of pseudo-science, when they and the rest of the “science” blogging community removed you from their sight.

Suggest doable science outreach that could cut traffic accidents; dare criticize darlings of the pretend secular “science” scene for their hidden creationism; get almost no readers over months and no reaction except for “science” writers removing you from their friend list on a “science” site and the “science” site overlord telling you once again that you have contributed nothing to science ever and only write utter nonsense pulling others’ “accomplishments” down.

Suggest a truly innovative form of essay contest that ensures transparency, independence, and collaboration exactly like many out there claim they want it; invite their suggestions to even themselves improve the suggested rules in order to ensure a truly collaborative result.  Get nothing.

Write a sexist rant, scientific content worth about five lines, that you thought up in a few minutes on your way to the office after something pissed you off; put it on the “science” site during xmas when traffic is slow; get more readers and comments in two f'n days (!) than the critical articles in months; have the site guru tell you how awesome it is and the “Institute of ETHICS and Emergent Technologies” suddenly request articles again.

Get the message; get a life; drop out of science; make scat porn flicks letting Thai girls slurp your fluids through their worn nylons while fingering their crevices with electrified rubber gloves; get recognition for your innovative contributions and stop being worried about your retirement options.

Thank you guys – Science blogging taught me valuable lessons about science and science writing.

Hey babes – I got some high level elevated science for you!