If you are a side-blotched lizard (Uta stansburiana), then you have an orange, a yellow or a blue throat (easily determined by looking in mirror). If your throat is orange, then you are a big, bad machine and will easily kick the ass of anyone with a blue throat and steal his lady lizards. Ah yeah.
If your throat is blue, you are a wuss but not a complete wuss, and can still defend your women against the über-wussy yellow-throats.
If your throat is yellow, you are weak but deft and can sneak amongst the meat-headed orange-throaters and covertly snog their women (but the blue-throated lizards are no chumps and will ferret out your clever ruse and give you a thumping rather than your intended humping—does this sound like Mr T's weak attempts at rap from an early 80's afterschool special? I pity the fool!).
Thus, orange trumps blue, blue trumps yellow, and yellow trumps orange.
When using Rock, Paper, Scissors to solve your own mating/other conundrums be sure to keep in mind the following, excerpted them from the RPS Society's official rules—seriously, there are lengthy, official rules for Rock, Paper, Scissors:
• Safety First! Always ensure that all players have removed sharp jewelry and watches.
• Think twice before using RPS for life-threatening decisions.
• Prior to the delivery of the final prime, the game may be called off for the following reasons only: rule clarification, decision clarification, or injury.
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