San Francisco, always at the avant-garde of kooky, pointless gestures that annoy many and help few, thinks the worst problem it faces today are 'impulse' buys of goldfish, so they want to ban them.
Gotta put an end to the inhumane conditions perpetuated by the Big Goldfish military-industrial complex; their homes are completely underwater and they only get fed once a day. Meanwhile, the pollution and slave labor of Apple barely gets noticed. It helps that few activists own goldfish but all of them own iPhones.
This would join bans on hamsters and declawing your cat but all is not lost yet - commissioners drew a line with the Animal Control and Welfare Commission's even kookier effort to put birth control chemicals into bird seed to control the pigeon population.
